Weird isn’t it?  We’ve lived together for so long that she’s become a part of me, a part of who I am.  It’s hard for me to even imagine my life without her physically being there and then bang, one day I turned around to say something to her and she wasn’t there.  It felt, well, weird.

Then there’s all the household stuff.  You know, the dirty dishes, the laundry, all the stuff that used to somehow get taken care of that now just accumulates until I finally get around to it.  This separation is really going to take some getting used to.

Still, there are a couple of things we’ve done to cope with being apart.  If you’re a military spouse, none of these will be new.  However, for those couples for whom separation is a new experience, these tips might help you get through.

1.  Maintain frequent communication by whatever means you can.  Couples need to talk.  When you’re physically together, it’s simple to just turn and say what you need to say.  Constant communication is the “glue” that keeps the relationship together.  When you’re physically apart, communication becomes more of a challenge.  However, it’s critical that you maintain it by whatever means you can.  That means:

a.  Phone Calls.  Most cell phone plans now allow nationwide calls so there’s really no such thing as “long distance” charges any more or you can use any of the web-based phone services such as Skype.

b.  Video Chats.  We set up a webcam on our computers so we could see each other’s face while we chatted.  Seeing the other person makes a real difference.  Video chats still leave a lot to be desired since the video sometimes freezes or blacks out altogether (depending on your Internet speeds) but still, seeing the face of your loved one makes a real difference.

c.  FaceTime.  Got an iPhone 4?  Use the FaceTime feature to turn your phone call into a video call.  It’s a huge improvement over a webcam.  We’ve found the video to be much faster and responsive than a webcam.  Don’t have an iPhone 4?  Then use one of the many video-call alternatives such as Qik.

d.  Email & Text Messages.  Yeah, email is pretty impersonal but hey, it still counts as a form of communication.  Same goes for text messages although with SMS, you can add emoticons ( ) to spice them up a bit.

e.  Cards and Letters.  Try communication the old fashion way – in writing.  Or take the easy way out and run down to the drug store and pick up a Hallmark card that says, “I Miss You.”  Either way, getting a card or letter in the mail says that your special someone is thinking about you.

2.  Keep a routine.  Even though your “other half” might be missing, there’s still plenty of stuff around the house to keep you busy.  Jump into it.  You’ll obviously have to pick up whatever chores were being done by your missing partner so work that into your routine as well.  Yeah, it’s a hassle but it will keep you busy instead of allowing you to sit around feeling lonely.

3.  Stay healthy.  Really feeling the absence of your partner?  Go out for a quick walk or jog.  Dealing with the emotional side of separation is difficult enough so make sure to keep your body in good shape.  That means eating right and getting plenty of exercise.  With no one to watch (and comment on) how much ice cream you go through, it’s really easy to pack on the pounds when your spouse is away.

4.  Keep your emotions in check.  OK, this one’s hard but you’ve got to try to keep yourself from feeling lonely, mopey, and miserable.  The best way I’ve found to cope with the emotional side of having to live alone for a while is to keep busy following all the previous recommendations.

5.  Value the Relationship Above All Else.  Being together is what nourishes a relationship.  However, with today’s economy, more and more couples are having to take temporary, and sometimes even permanent, assignments apart from each other in order to make financial ends meet.  That’s OK as long as you make sure that you work just as hard on keeping the relationship alive and healthy.

Having to live apart for a while is tough on a couple.  You have to learn a whole new household routine while dealing with the emotional roller-coaster that goes along with it.  But by following these tips and figuring out a couple on your own, you can get through it.

For my part, I’ve found that after some of our phone conversations, my lips hurt from smiling so much.  The last time that happened was when we were dating!  Still, I wish we were together….

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Email Me:  Hiram Perez   

Technorati Tags: relationship, lonely, couples, separation, marriage, healthy, emotions, emotional

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Happiness Is Not “Somewhere Out There”

Happiness is not something external that pops into your life unexpectedly, although it can certainly seem that way at times.  It’s not something that someone brings and shares with you, although that can sometimes be the case.  In fact, happiness is something that you already have.  It’s something that’s already inside of you.  It just may be hidden underneath a lot of personal and emotional baggage that you insist on carrying around for some reason.

What Keeps Happiness Under Wraps

What kind of personal junk can keep happiness hidden and undiscovered?  What kind of emotional baggage can prevent happiness from taking center stage in our lives?  Some obvious things (in no particular order) include the following:

1. Waiting for happiness to come to you.  I’ve already mentioned this in the second paragraph but it bears repeating.  Happiness is not something external.  It is not something that someone else gives you or creates in you.  So stop waiting for that “special someone” to come into your life.  Stop looking for that “special something” in the stores or catalogs.  Happiness is already inside of you.  You just need to find it and let it out.  Unless you really believe this, there’s no point in going further because you’ll always be stuck waiting, waiting, waiting.
2. Living in the past.  So maybe a loved one left.  Maybe that big deal fell through or that big promotion went to someone else.  Wallowing in resentment and regrets is a sure way to kill any chance of happiness.  Some people have made “crying over spilled milk” a profession that’s taken over their lives – and in that kind of environment, happiness has no room to grow.
3. Poor self-esteem.  Do you feel like you don’t deserve happiness?  Feel like you’re not worthy of it?  Poor self-esteem and the negative thought patterns it produces can be a happiness killer.  Correcting this one is so important that if it applies to you, you might want to consider professional help.
4. Stress.  It’s impossible to feel happy if you’re under stress all the time.  Now here’s the kickker – a large portion of the stress we all feel is self-imposed.  We want everything in our lives to go according to plan and when it doesn’t, we freak out.  Trying to control the uncontrollable – and stressing out about it – will always keep happiness under wraps.
5. Isolation.  Do you spend most of your time alone?  Bad idea.  Man (as in “mankind” – no gender bias intended <grin>) is a social animal.  We all need to be around and interact with other people.  We need to hear their troubles as well as be able to share our own.  It helps to keep things in perspective in addition to making us feel needed, valued and accepted.  Whether it’s a circle of friends or family, you need to be part of a social group.  If you’re not, it will be really difficult to find happiness.
6. Poor physical condition.  You know, one of the reasons you’re not happy might be because you’re sick.  Keep yourself in good physical condition by getting regular checkups and by following your doctor’s advice  - especially the part about losing a few pounds and exercising.
7. No mission or purpose.  Feeling like there’s no purpose to your life is the “mac-daddy” of all happiness killers.  However, taking care of most of the other 6 areas will take help to eliminate this one automatically.  For example, if you have a close group of friends and family, you’ll automatically begin to feel needed.  Agree to bring the coffee to the next group get-together and now you begin to feel like people are depending on you.  Feeling like your life has purpose automatically comes from being involved with your family, your friends, and in your community.

Letting Happiness Shine Through

1. Get positive.  Learn to look on the bright side.  I said “learn” because optimism is a learned behavior.  It’s a habit, just like being negative is, only with a much better payback in terms of happiness.
2. Learn to laugh more.  Don’t cry over spilled milk.  Learn to see the humor in everything around you, even the little things that used to drive you nuts.  Once you do that, you’ll begin to experience joy, and from there it’s a short skip to happiness.
3. Forgive the past.  Let go of all the resentment and regrets.  Learn to forgive others for the wrong they might have done (real or imagined) as well as yourself for not meeting whatever goals or expectations you might have set for yourself.  Quit trying to blame others or situations as the reason you’re not happy.  Learn how to forgive and let happiness shine through.
4. Get physical.  Get out and get active.  Meet new people.  Make new friends.  Play games.  Compete.  Contribute.  Find a group where you can volunteer.  Eat right.  Smile.
5. Give thanks.  Yes, I know times are tough.  Yes, I know there are millions of unemployed and that the economy is in the dumps and that the Middle East is in flames, and blah, blah, blah.  Still, take time to give thanks for what you have, for your health, for the people in your life, for life itself.

Happiness is not something magical that’s “out there” somewhere that you need to find.  It’s not part of “someone special” that you need to meet or “something special” that you need to buy and own.  Happiness is already inside of you.  You already are happy.  You just need to strip away all the junk that’s preventing you from seeing it.  Get started today!

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Technorati Tags: happy, happiness, joy, positive outlook, healthy, emotional, depression, thankfulness

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I had one of those “Internet Emails” forwarded to me the other day.  You know the type – “forward this to someone you care about” or “don’t break the chain” or whatever.  Anyway, this one actually seemed to contain some useful information about drinking water.

Now we all know we’re supposed to get around 8 glasses of water per day, right?  We all know that hydration is critical to good health, right?  Well, what you might not know is that there’s an optimal time to be drinking water.

The following information supposedly comes from a cardiologist.  Now again, this was from an email that someone forwarded to me so I can’t vouch whether it really does come from a cardiologist, or from any other healthcare professional for that matter, so take it with the appropriate grain of salt.  However, it does make sense.

According to the information I received, drinking water at certain times maximizes the body’s ability to utilize it.  Specifically, you should:

• Drink 2 glasses of water immediately after waking up to help activate internal organs,
• Drink 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal to help digestion (and to help reduce hunger pangs so you don’t end  up overeating),
• Drink 1 glass of water before taking a bath in order to help lower blood pressure,
• Drink 1 glass of water before going to bed to help avoid a stroke or heart attack while you sleep.

Let me emphasize once again that I can’t vouch for the accuracy of this information or its source.  However, I do know that water makes up a large percentage of the body and keeping the body supplied with enough clean water is an important part of staying healthy.  I’m also a big believer that your body should be getting the majority of the water it needs from eating water-rich fruits and vegetables and from drinking clean water, not from sodas, coffee, teas, or other flavored drinks.

Take a close look at the graphic for the many ways that water is used in the body – and then make sure you’re getting enough of it.

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Technorati Tags: hydration, water, water-rich, health, healthy, weight-loss, diet, nutrition

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I recently purchased a Polar F11 fitness monitor and it’s totally changed my workouts!  This wrist unit not only keeps track of my heart rate (which is an indication of how hard you’re pushing yourself), it estimates the number of calories I’ve burned during the session.

The best part is that I can upload all of that information to a website that keeps track of all of my workouts.  Instantly, I can see how many times I worked out this week, how many calories I burned, the total amount of time I spent exercising, and a number of other things.  How cool is that?

Not only that, …

I can also schedule, or set goals, for future workouts.  The website can even design an exercise program for me.  All I have to do is tell it how many times I want to work out during a week and it does the rest.  As you can see from the screenshots, the website displays the entire week with all of my workout sessions listed.

When I click on a specific workout, the site gives me a bar chart telling me my maximum heart rate, my average heart rate, and how much time I spent in each zone.

The neat part is that since I’ve started using the Polar F11 and uploading my workout info, I’ve literally been looking for chances to “fill up my calendar” with workouts.  It really motivates you to workout so you can get “something on the board.”

As if that wasn’t enough motivation, you can also participate in “challenges.”  A challenge is a goal that someone sets, for example “to see who can burn the greatest number of calories in a 2 month period,” that several people can participate in.  When you accept a challenge, your workout information is automatically included on the challenge site. 

When you go to the challenge site, you’ll see a bar chart with all of the people that have accepted the challenge as well as their progress.  It also tells you what your current standing in the group is.  There’s no better motivation to get an extra workout in than a little competition.

The range of features on these types of fitness monitors is pretty extensive, as are the prices so do a little bit of research before you decide on one.  Some, like the Polar F11, only measure heart rate.  Others designed specifically for runners and/or cyclists contain a GPS device so you can measure exactly how far you’ve run or biked as well as the speed.

The more popular fitness monitors tend to be manufactured by:

• Polar Fitness – a broad range of fitness monitors for running, cycling, and sports
• Nike – makers of the Nike+ for the iPod as well as more traditional fitness monitors
• Garmin – GPS enabled monitors for running and cycling

All three manufactures have a training website that allows you to upload and view your workout information.  However, only certain models from each manufacturer have Internet uploading capability so make sure you check before you purchase.

So if you’re the type of person that gets a real thrill from “putting some numbers up on the big board,” then using a system like this will probably work for you.  As I’ve already mentioned, it’s motivated me to go out and exercise because I didn’t want there to be any days without some sort of activity in my online workout diary.  Plus, I didn’t want to start lagging behind on some of the challenges that I’m part of.

When you know how many calories you’ve burned, it makes you want to go out and burn some more!

Hiram
The Balanced Health Guy
Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach (NESTA)

Technorati Tags: fitness monitor, heart rate, balanced health, healthy, fitness, polar, nike, garmin, watch, bpm, sports, exercise

You might also be interested in the following items from Amazon.com:

Gruve Personal Activity Monitor, White/Gray

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Gruve is an unprecedented, personalized, scientifically proven solution that enables healthy, sustainable weight loss. wear your gruve all day and learn how to increase your daily activity, burn more calories and reach your personal health goals. sync your gruve with gruve online to view your calorie burn and activity intensity. log into gruve online and notice that your daily burn goal has been set based on a number of personal factors, not some generic formula like other programs. losing weight is as simple as reaching your get to greentm goal each day. included with your 1 year gruve subscription is the 12 week gruve guide which provides you with the education, motivation and support you need to make long term, sustainable behavior ch

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Garmin FR60 Men’s Red Fitness Watch (Includes Heart Rate Monitor and USB ANT Stick)

• Bundle includes FR60, heart rate monitor, USB ANT Stick, quick start manual
• Water resistant to 50 meters
• Can be used for running, cycling and other fitness activities calculating time, heart rate and distance
• ANT+ technology: Wirelessly connect to heart rate monitor, foot pod and speed cadence sensor, then share fitness data with your computer
• Battery life: One year, user-replaceable coin cell battery

Log every mile and every minute with FR60, a sleek fitness watch plus workout tool that tracks your time, heart rate and calories burned. When bundled with the wireless foot pod (not included), FR60 also tracks speed and distance, indoors or out. Use FR60′s training tools to get the most out of your workout. Then, FR60 wirelessly sends your workout data to your computer for later analysis. Garmin Forerunner 60 (Men’s Red)
Flexible digital heart rate monitor provides instant feedback about how hard you’re working. Once you’ve logged the miles, FR60 automatically transfers data to your PC or Mac, wirelessly when in range. Train Indoors or Out
In the gym or on the road, FR60 tracks all your workout data, includ

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Although a case of the flu isn’t that big a deal for most healthy adults, this disease tends to hit children and the elderly the hardest with over 150 dead in Mexico alone.  As a result, many countries are issuing travel restrictions as well as more closely screening people crossing their borders.

With all the fear and confusion creating numerous conflicting stories in the media, it’s difficult to know which information to trust.  However, there are a couple of simple, common-sense things that you can do to protect yourself and your family from the flu.

First, understand what you’re fighting. What is “the flu,” or more specifically, the “swine” flu?  Swine flu is the name given to the most recent outbreak of the flu virus.  It’s a type of flu that’s not been seen before.  It contains parts of some of the strains of flu that we’ve dealt with in the past including American Swine and avian, or bird flu.

This strain of flu virus is spread like any other flu virus:  primarily from airborne transmission but also from surface transmission as well.  In other words, the virus spreads from infected people sneezing or coughing which pumps the virus into the air where healthy people breath it in.  It spreads by surface transmission when infected people wipe their runny nose, for example, and then touch a door knob, phone, or other surface.  If a healthy person touches the contaminated surface and then touches their eyes, nose, or mouth, they become infected also.

The symptoms are those of the common flu: headache, fever, sneezing, coughing, runny nose, and muscle aches.  In the vast majority of cases, most people recover without any problems.  However, special care should be taken for those that are most at risk for complications – infants, people with existing respiratory problems, and the elderly.

Second, cleanliness is your best defense. Since the virus spreads through surface transmission, your best defense is to frequently clean common areas at home as well as at the office with a sanitizing cleanser.  You should also carry a bunch of pre-moistened wipes or a tube of hand sanitizer and wash your hands often.  Make sure your kids get into the habit of frequently washing their hands with soap and/or a hand sanitizer also.  This one suggestion is probably the most effective thing you can to do prevent your family from coming down with the flu.

So what about airborne transmission?  Is a surgical mask effective?  Well, yes and no.  The flu is a virus, something so small that a surgical mask isn’t going to stop it.  However, in most cases, the virus is spread by someone coughing or sneezing so the virus isn’t going to be coming out in single units.  They’re going to be in clumps clinging to the droplets of water or mucous that’s part of every sneeze.  In these cases, the “clumps” may be large enough to be trapped by the surgical mask.

You’ll find conflicting reports about the effectiveness of surgical masks.  They’re probably most effective in preventing infected people from sneezing on you, something that’s likely to happen in crowded situations like a subway or sporting event.

Third, keep yourself and your family healthy. This means making sure that you and your family is eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, drinking plenty of fluids, getting moderate exercise, and getting plenty of sleep.  You want to make sure that your immune system is in peak condition and ready to fight off any attacks.  I don’t advocate taking mega-doses of vitamin C or anything else but a good multivitamin wouldn’t hurt.

Fourth, if all else fails. If all else fails and you or a member of your family gets sick, make them as comfortable as you can.  There’s no real “cure” for the flu but there are all sorts of over-the-counter medications for the symptoms.  If you or your family member is part of the high risk group (infants, elderly, or existing respiratory problems), then keep a very close watch and get medical attention if their condition appears to worsen.

If you’re the one that’s sick, stay home, drink plenty of fluids and get plenty of rest.  Most people recover within 5-7 days.  If it lasts longer than this, see your doctor.

Finally, this flu is really no more serious (or any less serious) than the other strains of flu we’ve experienced so the precautions are pretty much the same.  The best advice is to maximize your chances of warding off the disease by keeping common surfaces clean, washing your hands often, and by practicing good health habits (eating right, exercise, staying hydrated, getting plenty of sleep).

Hiram
The Balanced Health Guy

Technorati Tags: healthy, sneeze, cough, Avian, Bird Flu, Flu, Flu Virus, Runny Nose, Swine Flu, virus

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What exactly is a toxic environment? A simple definition is any environment that contains things that place an inordinate amount of stress on your body. These stressors weaken your ability to fight off disease. There are several types of stressors that you should be aware of and avoid:

Chemical Stressors

Avoid living or working in environments that have a high level of chemicals: either natural or man-made. Living next to a refinery or a chemical plant, for example, is not exactly conducive to good health. Since your body is constantly bombarded with high concentrations of chemicals, it spends most of its time trying to flush them from your system. This constant effort eventually weakens your body leaving it open to all kinds of allergies, reactions, or diseases.

Biological Stressors

Any type of environment with a high level of biological stressors is not good for your health. This can include living in a house or working in a building with high levels of mold or bacteria. Your body is constantly fighting off the effects of these biological invaders and will eventually weaken.

Physical Stressors

These include anything that stresses your body in a physical manner. Examples would include having to work in an area with a high level of noise, or vibration. Another example is having to work under a flickering fluorescent light. All of these stress the body to the point that it becomes susceptible to disease.

Psychological Stressors

Are you in a “toxic relationship?” Do you work for a boss that is constantly playing “mind games?” These are all forms of psychological stressors that upset your mental balance. And when the mind is upset, the body weakens and again, becomes an easy target for disease.

If you are constantly getting sick, it could very well be because you’re spending too much time in a toxic environment. This could be at home, at work, or during your social activities. Examine each one for the presence of the stressors I’ve listed above. Your body will thank you.

Hiram

Technorati Tags: balanced health environment toxic health healthy

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