So how do you snap out of it and get back into the game?  How do you come back when all the world seems to be fighting against you?  Here are 5 tips that might help:

Number 1:  Don’t fight it alone.  The first instinct when you get depressed is to seek isolation but that’s the worst thing you can do.  Find someone you can share your problems, your fears,  and your feelings with – which brings me to the next tip:

Number 2:  Verbalize your depression.  Try “talking” to your depression.  Describe it to a friend or loved one.  What does it feel like?  What “color” is it?  Where does it come from?  Focusing  on trying to verbally describe your depression can actually make you forget you’re depressed.  If you don’t have a friend handy, try writing your description in a notebook or journal.

Number 3:  Don’t label yourself.  Don’t say or think “I’m depressed.”  No you’re not.  You might feel depressed.  You might look depressed.  You might even act depressed but you are not depression personified so don’t pin that label on yourself.  Saying “I’m feeling depressed” tells your subconscious that your current state is a just a feeling and like all feelings, will soon pass.  (NOTE:  I am not talking about clinical depression here.  If you have been diagnosed with depression, make sure you follow your doctor’s instructions at all times.)

Number 4:  Take care of your body.  Don’t neglect proper exercise and diet and by all means, stay away from the junk food.  You might think that ice cream or chocolate cake will make you feel better but it’s not doing your body any favors.  Taking a walk or doing in some light exercise or yard work will actually release endorphins that will help chase away depression.

Number 5:  Exhibit gratitude.  When you begin to feel depressed about what you don’t have, that’s the time to start focusing on what you do have.  You need to write these down in order for this to work.  Don’t just casually list out loud what you’re thankful for because it won’t have the same impact.  You need to not only hear yourself say that you’re grateful for something, you really need to see it in writing.  Your body needs to really feel the motion of writing it down.  This more than anything will help to put whatever is causing your depression in perspective.  The more things you can list that you’re really grateful for, the weaker and weaker your depression will become.

Depression can hit anyone, at any time, for any reason.  It might pass through like a dark cloud or it might decide to stay a while.  If it does, use these tips to get yourself back in the game of Life.

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Email Me:  Hiram Perez   

Technorati Tags: depression, depressed, health, emotions, emotional,  gratitude, life

Related posts:

1. Linking Moldy Homes and Depression

However, if you’re anything like me, you find you spend way too much time thinking and planning about your goals instead of actually working on them.  I even found myself buying some “special” goal-setting paper this past week!

Forget that!  Forget about following a special goal formula or using special goal-setting paper or journal.  Quit spending so much time on designing your goals and start spending most, if not all, of your time working on them.

Someone once said, “Life is not practice.”  That’s right.  We don’t get a chance to live life over.

So don’t worry if you don’t have a neat list of goals for 2012 – all categorized by area of your life, cross referenced with your family goals, and put in order of date due.

It’s the start of a new year.  Just pick a direction and go!  If things change, it’s much easier to change direction if you’re already in motion that it is to rearrange your card catalog of goal cards.

Like Nike says, “Just do it!”

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Email Me:  Hiram Perez   

Technorati Tags: goals, new year, 2012, resolution

Related posts:

1. Setting Goals for the New Year
2. Setting Successful Health Goals
3. How to Stick to Your Diet

Why?  Because if you don’t decide where you want to go, any road will take you there.  Because if you don’t set goals, you’ll just float along life with no direction.  Because if you don’t set your sights on something, you won’t have a compelling reason to get up early and stay up late.  Because if you don’t set goals, you’ve already failed.

“Failed?  Failed at what?”  If you don’t set any goals at all, you’ve already failed to accomplish all the great things you’re capable of.  It could be losing weight, building muscle, earning extra money, building a relationship, really anything you can imagine.  Anything – you can really have and achieve anything – if you’ll only set a goal and consistently work towards it.

SMART Goals

Every great journey begins with the first step and every great accomplishment, whether it’s finding the cure for the cancer or putting a man on the moon, begins with a goal.  But how do you set goals?  The best way I’ve found to explain the process is by using the acronym S-M-A-R-T.  Here’s what it means:

S – Set SPECIFIC Goals

Make sure your goals are as specific as you can possibly make them.  Saying “I just want to be happy” is not going to cut it.  ”I just want to lose some weight” isn’t effective either.  In both cases, you’ve got to be specific.  What exactly would it take to make you happy?  Exactly how much weight do you want to lose?

Setting a nonspecific goal like “I want to make some extra money” may prove very disappointing.  You might find a discarded penny on the sidewalk and stop to pick it up.  Boom, you just completed your goal!  You just made some “extra” money.  You see how important it is to be specific?

The first key to effective goals is to be specific, specific, specific.  If you can’t clearly see the outcome of your goal when you close your eyes at night, it’s not specific enough.

M – Make Your Goals MEASUREABLE

Now that you’ve made your goals as specific as you can, you need to find a way to measure your progress.  You might think that making your goals measurable is simply an extension of making them specific but it’s much more than that.  Making them measurable is like putting a ladder under an apple tree that allows you to climb up, step by step, to reach the best pieces of fruit the tree has to offer.  Making your goals measurable provides a step-by-step road map to their accomplishment.

If I ask you how your weight loss goal is coming along, you should be able to tell me exactly how much weight  you’ve lost as well as exactly how much further you have to go and how long you think it will take you to get there.  All specific, measurable steps.

Once you specifically define what it is you want, figure out a way to measure your progress.  It could be dollars, days, pounds, inches, boxes shipped, whatever.  Just find a way to measure your progress.

A – Make Your Goals ACTIONABLE

Like all the others, this one is key.  Your goals should be something that you can DO, WORK TOWARDS, or ACT ON.  Here’s the difference:  if you say “I want to make a million dollars” and don’t add any actionable steps, it’s a wish, not a goal.  On the other hand, saying “I want to make a million dollars through affiliate marketing (or product creation, or by writing a novel, or whatever you want to do),” then you’ve got something you can actually work on.  This puts you in control.

Every January 1st, most people set “I want to lose some weight” as one of their New Year’s goals.  Can you see why 99.9% of people that set this kind of goal never accomplish it?  It’s not specific.  It’s not measurable.  It’s not actionable.

Now, the person that says “I want to lose 15 pounds by the end of March through better diet choices and exercise” has got a much better chance of reaching their goal.  Their goal is specific, measurable, and actionable.  They’ve got something specific to work on.

Note:  some people list the “A” in SMART as “Attainable” as in “your goals should be Attainable.”  I like “Actionable” because I think it better describes the fact that YOU HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR GOALS.  They don’t come true all by themselves.

R – Your Goals Should be REALISTIC

Time for a gut-check:  is your goal realistic?  Can you really see yourself achieving it?  If you can’t, you need to work on 2 things:  your self confidence and your goal.  Once you become practiced at goal setting and have accomplished a few, your self confidence will explode and you’ll automatically begin setting bigger and bigger goals.  However, at the beginning, make sure you don’t set your goals so high that they end up discouraging you instead of inspiring you.  Make them realistic.

Also, make sure your goals are congruent with your life in general.  In other words, don’t work towards a goal that is actually going to create problems in other areas of your life.  For example, don’t set a weight loss goal that is so aggressive that you damage your overall health in the process.

T – Make Your Goals TIME BASED

Set a time limit on your goals.  Otherwise, you’ll always procrastinate and put off working on them for another week, another month, another year.  Set a deadline and stick to it.  Saying “I want to lose 5 pounds by the end of the month” has a lot more power than just saying “I’d like to lose some weight.”

Putting a time limit on your goals is another way to measure your progress.  You tell yourself, “I’ve got until the end of the month to reach my goal and it’s already the 15th.  I’ve got to get moving!”  There’s massive power in that.  It creates a momentum that propels you forward and keeps you moving.

Reaching Your Goals

Is it really this easy?  Well, yes and no.  Setting effective goals is a straightforward process.  However, you still have to DO THE WORK and that part isn’t so easy.  But setting up the right process, making your goals specific, measurable, action oriented, realistic, and time based will provide a framework where you can see exactly how much progress your work is producing.  Your work will have purpose – and that will inspire you to maintain the pace.

You see, if you can’t measure where you are and you’re not sure where you’re going, it’s difficult to find a compelling reason to do the work. If you can’t see the “big payoff” at the end and see yourself moving closer to it, there’s no incentive to put in the extra effort and you’ll quickly find reasons to procrastinate.

So be SMART about setting your goals this New Year.  Stack the deck in your favor but making your goals specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and time-based.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish!

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Email Me:  Hiram Perez   

Technorati Tags: goal setting, goals, smart, resolutions, new year, motivation, weight loss, lose weight

Related posts:

1. Setting Successful Health Goals
2. The Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions
3. New Year – New Theme

We’ve all been taught that exercise is a great way to reduce stress and for most of us, it really works.  But what affect does all this exercise have on our productivity at work the next day?

A recent study in the October issue of the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine looked at the relationship between exercise, workplace stress, and productivity.  The results were not what you might imagine.

The study looked at a sample of 2,823 workers in Minnesota who were surveyed on their levels of workplace stress and amount of exercise as well as their productivity on the job.  The researchers found a couple of interesting things including (quoting directly from the JOEM Press Release):

1. “In general, higher stress levels at work were linked to greater productivity loss.  Workers with a higher body mass index were less productive, regardless of other factors.”
2. “After adjusting for body mass index, there was a significant interaction between physical activity and stress level. For highly stressed workers, a high level of physical activity was linked to significant productivity loss. In contrast, for workers with relatively low stress levels, physical activity had less effect on productivity.”

What this study appears to show is that the recommendation that you “exercise your stress off” should only apply to low stress levels.  The study found that for overweight employees who exercised 7 hours per week, the ones that felt highly stressed at work suffered an estimated productivity loss of 11% while those that felt lightly stressed at work only suffered a productivity decline of 2%.  Apparently, trying to “exercise off” a high level of stress leaves you so tired the next day that your productivity suffers, which probably leads to more stress.

The study concluded that when stress levels are high, increased physical activity tends to decrease productivity.  If that’s so, then what’s the best way to cope with high stress levels?  The study suggests that “stress management is at least as economically relevant to promoting worker health and productivity, compared to more traditional lifestyle factors…”

OK, so what are the takeaways from this?  Here are some of the things I found valuable (NOTE:  these are totally my opinions – read the study for yourself and come to your own conclusions):

• Workers who are overweight (high BMI) seemed to be more susceptible to stress and productivity loss than workers who were not overweight.  The study did not specifically say this but to me, it seemed implied in a number of places.  The key takeaway from this observation is to lose the weight.  Reduce your BMI and you’ll be in much better shape to handle whatever your workplace dishes out.
• If you face high stress levels as work, you’re much better off learning effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, than you are trying to “work off” the stress with exercise.  Heading to the gym after a stressful day only leaves you tired – and the stress is still there.
• What works for me, even after a stressful day, is exercise that requires my complete attention.  For example, I head to karate class or practice kickboxing with a partner.  It’s hard to worry about how much stress I have when you’re in the ring with someone trying to rearrange your face.  You’re forced to focus on the activity, not on the stress.  As a result, the stress tends to melt away.  On the other hand, if you do an exercise routine that doesn’t require any thought or concentration (weights, stair-master, treadmill etc), then the stress is going to stay front and center.

Stress is a killer, and not just of productivity.  It’s effects on blood pressure and heart disease are pretty well documented.  However, stress is also a part of everyday life.  As a result, you need to learn how to deal with it in a way that reduces it’s effects and doesn’t create more of it.

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Technorati Tags: productivity, fitness, stress, exercise, balanced health, meditation, journal of occupation and environmental medicine, joem

Related posts:

1. Coping with Stress
2. Fat Burning Exercise with Weights
3. The Magic of Exercise

I mentally started making fun of how she looked, of how she ran, of how obviously out of shape she was.  She wasn’t jogging, she was waddling! She wasn’t breathing, she was gasping for air!  She wasn’t running, she was stumbling!  She…..   “STOP!!” I had to yell at myself.  ”At least she’s out there working up a sweat.”

 I have no idea why I felt so smug and critical but what made me stop cold was the realization that she was out there taking action and I wasn’t.  She was trying to improve her health while I was sitting on my butt in an air-conditioned automobile.  She was the one DOING SOMETHING and I was the one feeling superior??  

What’s the old saying… “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”  Yeah, that’s it.  People who don’t get up early to go jogging shouldn’t “throw stones” at those that do.  

This “episode” taught me two things:

1.  Criticism swings both ways:  Giving it is easy – taking it, not so much.  It’s way too easy to sit on the sidelines and criticize or poke fun at all the people trying to improve themselves.  It’s easy to tune into the “Biggest Loser” and laugh.  Look at ‘em sweat!  However, taking a long hard look at your own body in the mirror after you’ve gotten out of the shower isn’t easy, or fun either.  Before you get ready to throw a “stone” in someone’s direction, remember that you live in a glass house as well.

2.  To make changes, you’ve got to take action.  If you want to get healthy, lose weight, gain muscle, or whatever else your goal might be, you have to take action.  You have to get out there and sweat.  You have to work at it.  You have to get up early and stay late.  You have to take things as they are and then make them the way you want them – and that takes work.  

So the next time you see some poor slob jogging along the side of the road gasping for air, don’t cop a superior attitude.  Instead, put on your running shoes and go join them.  Get off the sidelines and get into the game.  Do something!

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Technorati Tags: run, jogging, overweight, weight loss, fitness, exercise, critic, criticism, judgment

Related posts:

1. Quick & Healthy Recipes and Ideas: For people who say they don’t have time to cook healthy meals, 3rd Edition
2. How to Live to be 100

Happiness Is Not “Somewhere Out There”

Happiness is not something external that pops into your life unexpectedly, although it can certainly seem that way at times.  It’s not something that someone brings and shares with you, although that can sometimes be the case.  In fact, happiness is something that you already have.  It’s something that’s already inside of you.  It just may be hidden underneath a lot of personal and emotional baggage that you insist on carrying around for some reason.

What Keeps Happiness Under Wraps

What kind of personal junk can keep happiness hidden and undiscovered?  What kind of emotional baggage can prevent happiness from taking center stage in our lives?  Some obvious things (in no particular order) include the following:

1. Waiting for happiness to come to you.  I’ve already mentioned this in the second paragraph but it bears repeating.  Happiness is not something external.  It is not something that someone else gives you or creates in you.  So stop waiting for that “special someone” to come into your life.  Stop looking for that “special something” in the stores or catalogs.  Happiness is already inside of you.  You just need to find it and let it out.  Unless you really believe this, there’s no point in going further because you’ll always be stuck waiting, waiting, waiting.
2. Living in the past.  So maybe a loved one left.  Maybe that big deal fell through or that big promotion went to someone else.  Wallowing in resentment and regrets is a sure way to kill any chance of happiness.  Some people have made “crying over spilled milk” a profession that’s taken over their lives – and in that kind of environment, happiness has no room to grow.
3. Poor self-esteem.  Do you feel like you don’t deserve happiness?  Feel like you’re not worthy of it?  Poor self-esteem and the negative thought patterns it produces can be a happiness killer.  Correcting this one is so important that if it applies to you, you might want to consider professional help.
4. Stress.  It’s impossible to feel happy if you’re under stress all the time.  Now here’s the kickker – a large portion of the stress we all feel is self-imposed.  We want everything in our lives to go according to plan and when it doesn’t, we freak out.  Trying to control the uncontrollable – and stressing out about it – will always keep happiness under wraps.
5. Isolation.  Do you spend most of your time alone?  Bad idea.  Man (as in “mankind” – no gender bias intended <grin>) is a social animal.  We all need to be around and interact with other people.  We need to hear their troubles as well as be able to share our own.  It helps to keep things in perspective in addition to making us feel needed, valued and accepted.  Whether it’s a circle of friends or family, you need to be part of a social group.  If you’re not, it will be really difficult to find happiness.
6. Poor physical condition.  You know, one of the reasons you’re not happy might be because you’re sick.  Keep yourself in good physical condition by getting regular checkups and by following your doctor’s advice  - especially the part about losing a few pounds and exercising.
7. No mission or purpose.  Feeling like there’s no purpose to your life is the “mac-daddy” of all happiness killers.  However, taking care of most of the other 6 areas will take help to eliminate this one automatically.  For example, if you have a close group of friends and family, you’ll automatically begin to feel needed.  Agree to bring the coffee to the next group get-together and now you begin to feel like people are depending on you.  Feeling like your life has purpose automatically comes from being involved with your family, your friends, and in your community.

Letting Happiness Shine Through

1. Get positive.  Learn to look on the bright side.  I said “learn” because optimism is a learned behavior.  It’s a habit, just like being negative is, only with a much better payback in terms of happiness.
2. Learn to laugh more.  Don’t cry over spilled milk.  Learn to see the humor in everything around you, even the little things that used to drive you nuts.  Once you do that, you’ll begin to experience joy, and from there it’s a short skip to happiness.
3. Forgive the past.  Let go of all the resentment and regrets.  Learn to forgive others for the wrong they might have done (real or imagined) as well as yourself for not meeting whatever goals or expectations you might have set for yourself.  Quit trying to blame others or situations as the reason you’re not happy.  Learn how to forgive and let happiness shine through.
4. Get physical.  Get out and get active.  Meet new people.  Make new friends.  Play games.  Compete.  Contribute.  Find a group where you can volunteer.  Eat right.  Smile.
5. Give thanks.  Yes, I know times are tough.  Yes, I know there are millions of unemployed and that the economy is in the dumps and that the Middle East is in flames, and blah, blah, blah.  Still, take time to give thanks for what you have, for your health, for the people in your life, for life itself.

Happiness is not something magical that’s “out there” somewhere that you need to find.  It’s not part of “someone special” that you need to meet or “something special” that you need to buy and own.  Happiness is already inside of you.  You already are happy.  You just need to strip away all the junk that’s preventing you from seeing it.  Get started today!

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Technorati Tags: happy, happiness, joy, positive outlook, healthy, emotional, depression, thankfulness

No related posts.

“Me” time is just what it sounds like – time for me.  It’s as much a vacation from the house and the family as it is from work and/or school.  It’s time to spend with no one but yourself.

All of us need time alone every once in a while.  To think.  To dream.  To wonder.  You can’t do that in the midst of the constant chatter that is daily life.

Being alone for a while allows the voice of God to be heard.  You can only hear God whispering to your heart when your spirit is still.

Although I “scheduled” some “me” time, you don’t have to wait until your next vacation comes around.  Take whatever opportunity comes along.  Grab your cup of coffee and instead of heading for the breakroom, head outside and take a walk around the block – alone.  Don’t think.  Don’t worry.  Don’t fret.  Just be by yourself for a while.  You’ll be surprised how refreshed it will make you feel.

Why not try it right now?

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S. Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.” This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – for a limited time.  Just click on the title to be taken to the download page.  Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: me-time, alone, spirit, mindfulness, meditation, quiet time

Related posts:

1. The Importance of Keeping a Journal

So why go through all the effort?  Why put yourself through all the pain and agony?  Well, because exercise produces some “magic” effects.  Primarily:

Physical Strength and Conditioning

I shouldn’t even have to mention this one, right?  Of course, working your body develops your muscles, including your heart, so that they’re stronger and can work longer.  Your body becomes much more efficient at using oxygen and burning nutrients.

But the real benefit is more than just tighter abs – much more.  The more you exercise, the easier your everyday motions become and the more you can enjoy life.  Picking up your kids (or in my case, grandkids) becomes a joy instead of a literal pain in the lower back.  Being able to play chase without feeling like you’re having a heart attack is not only fun for your kids, it makes you feel like a kid as well.

Which brings me to the next “magic” benefit of exercise:

Mental Conditioning

Sure, the more I exercise, the better I feel physically.  But the better I feel physically, the better my mental outlook. gets as well  After a good workout, your brain is deluged with all the endorphins and extra blood flow generated by the physical activity.  It makes you think that anything’s possible – and you know what?  Anything IS possible!

Exercising on a regular basis also builds mental discipline and focus – two things that are basic “keys to success” in your work and career.  Working out in the morning (my favorite time) is the best way to start your day with a clear mind and sharp mental focus.  You’ll arrive at work ready to jump in and tackle the day’s workload while everybody else is still trying to shake out the cobwebs with large doses of Starbucks.  That kind of mental conditioning is sure to be noticed by the “higher ups.”

So Just Do It

Even the most basic exercise routine will quickly produce results, both physical as well as mental, that can only be described as life-changing.  Your entire outlook on life will change for the positive and your jeans will fit better too!  You can’t find a better deal.  So what does it cost?  Just 20-30 minutes of resistance and cardio training every other day or so.  That’s it.

There are all sorts of workout programs out there designed for the beginner to the advanced athlete.  The ALL work – but only if YOU work them.  So find one that you like and get started.  Don’t think about it, just do it.  The results you get will be simply magic!

Related posts:

1. Top 10 Exercise Mistakes: Number 1
2. Top 10 Exercise Mistakes: Number 6
3. Top 10 Exercise Mistakes: Number 5

Now you and I don’t normally have to worry about the “demands of battle” but we do have to deal with the demands and stress of modern life – work responsibilities, family needs, church or social obligations, and of course, bills, bills, bills.  It wears you down and just like a soldier, you occasionally need a little R&R time in order to de-stress and recharge.

So here are a couple of tips to keep in mind when planning your next R&R time:

1. R&R is Different From a Vacation. A vacation is usually only taken during the summer, when the kids are off from school.  Vacations also tend to be big dramatic events with set schedules, planned events, and specific timetables.  That’s not what I mean by R&R.  In many cases, people experience way more stress trying to plan and take the perfect vacation than they ever experience at work.  R&R time is true rest and relaxation time when you let all the stress and worries slip away.  It’s time spent reading a good book or simply engaging in conversation with your significant other (remember the last time you both really talked?).  R&R time is not about doing activities or seeing the sights.  It’s about letting your soul take a deep breath.
2. R&R Time can be as Short or as Long as You Need. Take a week or take a day.  If you spend it properly and with the right mindset, no matter how much time you have, it’s enough.
3. When You Need It, You Need It. I know I’m writing this post at the end of the summer vacation season but once again, R&R time is not the same as a scheduled vacation.  If you find yourself suffering from modern-day “battle fatigue,” it’s time for a little R&R.
4. Get Out of Your Foxhole. Make sure to change your scenery.  Get out of the office, get out of the house, or if necessary, get out of town.  The key for soldiers on the battlefield was to get out of the “foxhole.”  You need to do the same.
5. Don’t Plan Too Much. Teri and I just got back from a trip to the Grand Canyon (hence the picture).  No schedule.  No itinerary.  No tours.  No plans.  No rush to get here or there or requests to “please stay with the group.”  We were just there – and it was great!  Without having to worry about what time it was or without having to be at a certain place at a certain time, we were completely free to simply enjoy being there – which leads me to the next tip:
6. Wherever You Are, Be There. The only way R&R time works is if you truly leave all your cares and worries (and stress) behind.  Better stated, this tip should be “Wherever You Are, Be THERE,” not mentally back at home or at work worrying about how you’re going to get through the pile of work, bills, assignments, or whatever, that you left sitting on your desk or counter top.
7. Come Back Recharged. No, taking some R&R time does not make all your problems disappear.  But it does make you better able to tackle them.  With a recharged mind and spirit, you’ve got a much better chance of finding a solution.

So the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, take a little R&R time away from the “battlefield.”   Give yourself some time to recharge and you’ll tackle those problems with a clear mind and a renewed spirit.

Related posts:

1. Mini-Vacation Benefits

How do you break that cycle?  How do you get your life back on the right road?

I got an interesting email the other day that seems to answer that exact question.  It’s from Perry Marshall, an industry expert in marketing.  I’ve purchased some of Perry’s products and his advice is always solid.  I thought I’d share his email so I’ve posted it, along with his links, in it’s entirety:

---

From: email@perrymarshall.com [mailto:email@perrymarshall.com] On Behalf Of Perry Marshall
Sent: Monday, June 14, 2010 8:44 AM
To: Hiram
Subject: Phone call from my old boss who fired me -

Hiram,

It was a Friday. I was about 10 minutes late for work. Before I could put my lunch in the refrigerator, Wally & Fred called me into Wally’s office.

Something did not feel right.

“Perry, we’re going to have to let you go. Things just aren’t working out and it’s time to cut you loose.”

We’d had the pleading conversation about giving me one more chance 2-3 times already. That discussion just wasn’t gonna happen again.

2 years before when they’d hired me, Wally said, “Perry is a sales guy just waiting to happen.” Now Perry was *still* a sales guy ‘just waiting to happen’ and they had waited long enough.

I drove the long commute back home. When I walked in the back door at 9:30 in the morning, it only took Laura about one second to figure out what happened. (It was about the 5th or 6th job I’d been fired from, and she was starting to get accustomed to this.)

Firing me was the l-a-s-t thing Wally and Fred wanted to do. Other than the long string of failed sales contracts, we all liked each other just fine. They all had families; terminating a young guy with an 18 month old baby girl who’d been born just after he started wasn’t exactly their idea of a fun team-building exercise.

But it didn’t really matter how much “I love you / you love me / we’re a happy family” we all had together, business is business and sales is sales. If you can’t bring home the bacon, you don’t get breakfast.

In moments like that, you make decisions, vows, inner resolutions.

I made a decision to prove to those guys that Wally had been right at the very beginning and I really *was* a sales guy waiting to happen. “Someday. . . . I’ll show those guys. . . .” I swore under my breath.

Part of me was tempted to want ‘revenge’ but I held that emotion in check. They were just doing what they had to do after all.

But even more than that, I made a decision that somehow or another I was going to find *something* that worked. Everything I’d tried to sell for the previous 7 years had failed.

It’s a horrible feeling when you’re X years old [however old that happens to be] and hardly anything you’ve ever done has been successful.

That was 12 years ago.

Well guess what happened the other day? Fred called me out of the blue.

He asked me if I could help him with his company’s marketing. I hadn’t seen him since the day I got fired. Shortly after we parted, he started a new firm.

Last week we had lunch on the patio of an Italian restaurant.

This time, he drove the long commute from the Northwest Suburbs to come see me.

He brought his operations manager. I was telling the guy how my time with Fred was just one of those seasons of life where nothing was working. Fred chimes in: “Well it wasn’t from lack of effort. Perry tried EVERYTHING.”

I nod. Yep that’s right, I tried just about everything.

Fred asks me, “Any regrets?”

I shake my head vigorously. “No regrets. Not one. Things happen for a reason and there are just certain things you have to learn. Sometimes the lessons are hard. That job didn’t work out but it prepared me superbly for the next job, which worked splendidly.”

As we’re talking I think back and am truly thankful for all the tools I put on my tool belt during that horribly painful time. Not a week goes by that I don’t draw from something I learned during those 2 years.

And I’m reminded how powerful it is to have an attitude of gratitude even when, in the moment, it doesn’t really feel like you have anything to be thankful for at all.

I can promise you, it didn’t *feel* like I had much to be thankful for then. But that just wasn’t true. There wasn’t much fat to go around, but I was building LOTS of muscle.

And you know what. . . it’s been the same story in *every* department of my life. All the various times of relationship conflicts, problems with kids, therapy sessions, financial struggles, evil bosses, botched deals, deadbeat co-workers . . . all were seasons of building muscles, building muscles, building muscles.

During that time years ago I was desperate and I did LOTS of soul searching. Fred asked me what finally made my career start to click.

I said, “I was an ‘OK’ salesman back then and I was getting killed by the ‘good’ salesmen. But when I went from selling something where techie skills were *helpful* to selling something where techie skills were *mandatory*, everything started to take off.”

That made complete sense to him. The geek department is my #1 strength and everything I’ve done since then has taken full advantage of my geek background.

In hindsight, all the tweaking and wrangling in the world wouldn’t have made that job work well. Yes there are a lot of things we could have done better, failed projects we could have saved. Most of the key ingredients were there, but at the end of the day I was trying to pound a square peg into a round hole. The job was at war with my inner geek.

So. . . was it the *wrong* job? Was it a mistake to work there in the first place?

No.

Sometimes you pick up a LOT of skills during those seasons of pounding square pegs into round holes. (To be completely honest, the pegs almost NEVER fit perfectly anyway, do they??? They sure haven’t for me!)

Whatever life is throwing at you at the moment, you focus on the positive, express gratitude, and believe that there is a bigger picture that you truly are cracking the code on.

And I’d like you to consider that if you happen to be in a situation like my old job where lots of things are almost working but nothing is actually working, it might be because all the little things are right and there’s just one “BIG” thing that’s wrong.

Sometimes when you fix that one BIG thing, your fortunes reverse.

Meanwhile, thanks Fred. . . and Wally. . . and Nick and Ron and Gary and Jim and Mike and all the other odd assorted characters I’ve moshed with along the way.

My friend, I hope you can feel gratitude for whatever crazy things you’ve gone through and whatever punches you’ve rolled with. There’s an old proverb “faithful are the wounds of a friend” and it’s really true. The laboratory of reality was saying “Time to move on” and Wally and Fred did the right thing by listening to it.

And just remember . . . you never know when things may come full circle, when you find that you’ve earned the respect you so desperately craved in a prior season of life.

You never know when someone you were useless to way back when, will suddenly find you useful. And maybe even necessary.

You’re welcome to share your own stories at http://www.perrymarshall.com/9244/old-boss/

Perry Marshall

Perry S. Marshall & Assoc
159 N. Marion Street #295
Oak Park, IL 60301
United States
(312) 458-9102

Great advice Perry.  Learn to take the “long view” and treat your temporary setbacks as learning experiences.  Keep your eyes open for that one “big thing” in your personal make-up that might be pulling you in the wrong direction and get it fixed.  And most of all, be grateful for everything that’s happened in your life — good or bad — because these are the things that have made you into who you are today and provide the building blocks for who you’ll be tomorrow.

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – for a limited time.  Just click on the title to be taken to the download page.  Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: punches, motivation, gratitude, life lessons, perry marshall

No related posts.

I finally hit upon a method that enabled me to finally break the habit for good.  You can use this method for any “bad” habit you want to get rid of (like reducing your caffeine or sugar intake) or for any “good” habit you want to make permanent (like exercising).

Here’s how it works:

First, raid your piggy-bank and get a handful of coins (or get a roll of coins from your bank).  It really doesn’t matter if they’re nickels, dimes, or quarters.  You’ll need at least 30 of them.  As you can see from the picture, I went with dimes so I got $3.00 worth.

Second, get yourself some kind of empty container to put them in.  Since I was trying to quit drinking soft drinks, it was natural for me to use an empty soda bottle.  This was pretty symbolic of the habit I was trying to break.  It also helps if the container is clear so you can gauge your progress by seeing the coins inside.

Third, number the first couple of coins.  I used a Magic-Marker to number the coins in sequence.  There’s no need to number all 30 at once since you’ll have a hard time finding the coin with the next number once you put them all together.  I’d usually number 2 or 3 at a time and had them sitting on my dresser ready for use.

Fourth, get started working on your habit.  For each complete day that you successfully work on what you want to do (either stopping a bad behavior or increasing a good behavior), drop a coin in your container.  In my case, each day that I went without drinking any kind of soda, I’d drop a numbered coin in my “symbolic” container.  Each coin in your container represents a successful day where you achieved your goal.

Fifth, celebrate each day of victory.  In the beginning, I really struggled to make it through the entire day without a soft drink.  Drinking a Dr. Pepper or a Mr. Pibb was my daily afternoon ritual (I don’t drink coffee – I always drank soft drinks).  However, I really wanted to shed the 200-300 empty calories per day these drinks represented, not to mention the “high fructose corn syrup” they were pumping into my body.  So each day that I completed, I dropped in my numbered coin, shook the coins up and down to make them rattle, stared at the container and said, “That’s another day without a soft drink.  You don’t have control over me any more!”  Make sure you celebrate each time you drop in a numbered coin.

Sixth, no backsliding.  If you backslide, and most of us do at some point or another, start over.  Take your container and hold it up so you can see it clearly.  Take a close look at all the coins inside representing your progress.  Now dump out all the coins and start over.  If you backslide, go back and find coin #1 and start over.  There’s no need to beat yourself up over “falling off the wagon.”  Believe me, hearing all your progress and hard work come rattling out of the container and spill out on the table top is painful enough — but it will also make you more determined.  So if you backslide, simply resolve to go a little bit further next time and start again.

Seventh, continue until you have at least 30 coins in your container.  It takes at least 30 days of consistently doing something before it becomes a habit that you no longer have to think about.  To break an existing habit, it takes at least 30 days of not doing it in order to break its hold on you.  Make sure you continue this ritual every single day until at least 30 coins are in your container.

Finally, “cash in.”  Once you’ve either established a good habit or broken a bad one, take your “winnings” out of your container and buy yourself something to celebrate your victory.  Whether you buy something large or small doesn’t really matter.  What matters is that you experience that wonderful feeling that comes from having “gone the distance.”  You’ve earned it and believe me, listening to those coins jingle out of the container after 30 days is going to sound like a jackpot in Las Vegas!  Does this method work using marbles or pebbles instead of coins?  Sure it does – but you can’t spend marbles or pebbles!

Here are a couple of other tips that will help you break a bad habit:

1. Once you quit, quit for good. My failing was that I was always able to convince myself that I could “have just one” or that “just one won’t hurt.”  That’s total BS.  There’s no such thing as  “just one” and yes, just having one really does hurt.  I had to keep saying “I do NOT drink soda” and then keep working and dropping coins into my container until that statement really became true.  Afterward, you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been tempted.  However, every time I am, the phrase “I do NOT drink soda” automatically pops into my head and I’m able to move on past the soda dispensers and grab a bottle of water instead.
2. Don’t substitute. I used to substitute drinking Sprite or 7Up for Dr. Pepper.  Although Spite and 7Up don’t have the caffeine, they have just as many empty calories.  Go back to tip # 1.  If you’re going to quit, quit for good.  I know this goes against most advice but I didn’t want a “step-down” approach and using substitutes had never worked for me before.  Besides, I always saw it as substituting one bad habit for another.  Even though the substitute might be “less bad” than the original habit, it was still bad.  If you’re going to quit something, get yourself determined to quit it completely and for good.
3. Use rituals. It sounds corny but I turned breaking my soda habit into an epic battle between good and evil, a fight between me and that empty soda bottle in the picture.  I carried that bottle in my car for over a month stuck down between the seat and the door so that it poked me in the butt every time I got in or out.  I turned it into a constant reminder that I was in a real fight for my health.  Each time I dropped in a coin and heard it clink, I felt like I was striking another blow for my freedom.  Before I’d get out of my car at the end of the day, I’d stare at the Mr. Pibb label and literally say “You don’t have control over me anymore” out loud.  I’d shake the bottle of coins up and down in order to hear how full it was.  More and more it represented my increasing success and momentum.  I literally got my entire body into the ritual by using visual cues, sounds, and body movements to reinforce my determination.

Got a habit you’re trying to break?  Whether it’s sugar, caffeine, or anything else, give this method a try.  Make it fun.  Get all your senses involved each time you drop in a coin.  Before you know it, you’ll be at coin # 30 and your bad habit will be history!

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – for a limited time.  Just click on the title to be taken to the download page.  Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: soda, coke, soft drinks, sugar, caffeine, habit, ritual, Mr. Pibb

No related posts.

This one was about the relationship that we form with our pets and how through the unconditional love and loyalty they give us, we become better people.

I thought I’d share it with you.

A  Dog’s Purpose  (from  a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the  family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and  offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for  the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.  The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting  the old dog for the last time, that I wondered  if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after  Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad  fact that animal lives are shorter than human  lives.  Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me.  I’d never heard a more comforting explanation.  It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, ”People are born so that they can learn  how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”  The  Six-year-old continued, ”Well, dogs already know  how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as  long.”

What a great story.  Would that we all had the same basic nature as dogs – that we could “love everybody and be nice.”  That we could assume the best in people instead of the worst.  That we could face each new day with unbridled joy and openly express our happiness to be around those we care most about.  That we could totally live for today instead of hoping for some “tomorrow” that might never come.  What kind of world would that be?

Hiram

Technorati Tags: dogs, purpose, life, meaning, joy, optimism, love, happiness, death

No related posts.

In both cases, the message that was brought home to me is that no matter how long or how short our time on earth is, whenever that time is up, it’s always too soon.

One of my friends is a firefighter and he was telling me of an accident scene that he had responded to that morning very near my house.  Firefighters are frequently called out to car accidents in my city to either help extract the occupants from the tangled metal car frames or to prevent any leaking gasoline from igniting.

He described a scene in which a car with two young women had pulled out of an intersection only to be “T-Boned” by another car that had run a red light and was traveling at a high rate of speed.  The two women were killed instantly.

Knowing the exact intersection he was talking about, I made it a point to stop there on my way home from work that same afternoon.  I paused and purposely tried to make myself open and receptive to whatever might come up.  Know what the first thing I felt was?

Now, before I go on, let me emphasize that I am not “paranormal” or “psychic” or anything like that, and no, I don’t own a Ouija Board.  Heck, I can’t even watch “Ghost Whisperer” on TV without rolling my eyes.  However, I do believe that some type of energy animates our bodies and that when we die, that energy is not destroyed.  Some people call that “energy” a soul.  Regardless, there is some part of us that lives on and sometimes that “essence” or “energy” lingers for a while.

The first thing I felt when I paused at the corner where those two women had been killed was a deep felling of regret.  It was a regret of all the things they had planned to do but that now would never happen.  Regret of all the things that they really wanted to tell people but that now would be left unsaid.  Regret that their time on earth was too soon gone.

No, it wasn’t anything  “spooky” nor did I get a cold, clammy feeling down the back of my neck.  It was just an overwhelming feeling of regret.  I’m sure that if anyone had paused at that corner for just a second, they would have felt it too.

The lessons from all of this should be pretty plain:

• First, none of us live forever. Our time on this earth is limited.  This fact is not something to be denied or ignored.  Actually, it should be embraced – and used to spur us on to accomplish those things we always dreamed of.
• Second, live your life so there are no regrets at the end of it. That means doing the things you want to do TODAY instead of constantly putting them off.  That means telling people how you really feel about them TODAY instead of waiting for “just the right moment.”  It means having your “affairs in order,” all of them – physical ones, emotional ones, relationships, and religious ones.  That means saying “I’m sorry” as well as “I love you.”
• Appreciate the moment. There is nothing else.  You can’t relive yesterday.  You can’t live tomorrow.  You can only experience life today, right now, in this exact moment.  Make the most of it.

None of us know when our time here will be over.  All we know for sure is that it will be over.  Use that knowledge to motivate you to live each day to the fullest.  In the words of Tim McGraw, learn to “live like you were dyin’.”

Hiram
Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

Technorati Tags: funeral, death, regret, grief, life, motivation, accident

No related posts.

How true.  How many of us are really grateful for the people in our lives, for all the things they do, for all the ways they care for us and about us – and yet, we never let them know?  How many of us have a mental “closet” filled with carefully wrapped gifts that we have never given to those we care most about?

“Well, my loved ones KNOW I appreciate them,” is what many people say.  But is that really the case?  How can your loved ones possibly know for sure how you really feel unless you specifically tell them – unless you actually give them the gift of gratitude?

Make it a pledge that anytime you feel gratitude, you’ll express it right then and there.  You don’t have to make a big production about it.  Just a simple “thank you” will suffice.   This can include times like:

• Your spouse brings you a cup of coffee, or is just there for you when you’re feeling low.
• A co-worker holds the door or the elevator for you.
• A complete stranger lets you merge in front of them when they could have easily cut you off.
• You wake up feeling like it’s great to be alive.
• You see a rainbow or a beautiful sunset.

Or any one of a million things that can fill your entire being with a feeling of gratitude and thankfulness.  Go ahead and actually say the words, “thank you.”  Say it to the people around you, say it to the world, say it to God – just say it.  You’ll be amazed at how good it makes you feel as well as how it will change your outlook on life.  You’ll also be amazed at how differently people perceive you.

It’s a simple fact that the more you express gratitude, the more things to be grateful about will naturally come into your life.  Give it try and see if I’m not right.

Meister Eckhart, a medieval German philosopher said that, “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”

Amen.

Hiram
Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

Technorati Tags: spiritual, gratitude, thankfulness, philosophy, life, attitude, mental health, balance

Related posts:

1. Giving Thanks

Add to the mix the Nike commercials of people falling, tripping, hurting, and getting beat down with the song in the background asking, “How fast you gonna get up?”  It makes me want to jump up and shout, “As fast as I can.  As many times as it takes to be the best!”  And then of course, the Nike logo flashes on the screen telling me to “Just Do It.”

Boy, how much motivation can one guy take?  Especially a middle-aged one like me?  Still, it makes me want to head to the gym and work out like an Olympian!

Well, hold on there Bucky.  The problem with watching experts make some sport look easy is that we tend to convince ourselves that it IS easy – that is until we try it.  That’s when we find out how much skill it really takes – and how out of shape we really are.

So before you seriously hurt yourself, take a deep breath and honestly evaluate where you currently are on a fitness scale with 1 being a couch potato and 10 being an Olympian.  You’re not going to go from a 1 to a 10 in one workout.

OK, so you’ve been beat down right off the bat.  But as the Nike commercial asks, how many times are you going to get up?  Answer?  As many times as it takes to go from a 1 to a 2 …. and then from a 2 to a 3.

It’s OK to see yourself up there at the top of the ski slope with all the other guys and gals that have less than 5% body fat.  It’s OK to use that motivation to drive your fitness plan forward through one more day.  If you keep at it, you might actually get there some day.

But whether you get there or not is not really important.  The important thing is how you answer the question, “How many times are you going to get up?”

…and then as the Nike commercial says, “Just do it.”

Hiram
Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

Technorati Tags: Olympics, nike, commercial, sports, fitness, health, workout, exercise, motivation

Related posts:

1. Ramp Up Your Workout with a Fitness Monitor
2. Is it a Stroke? Find out FAST.
3. Smart Fast Food Tips

All of us have reached  plateaus, a place where we’ve stopped growing, at one point or another.  These plateaus can be in any number of areas including physical training, dieting, spiritual growth, or the growth of a relationship.

Whatever the area, plateaus share a couple of characteristics:

1.  Steep sides. The steep sides of a plateau represent the hard work it’s taken us to get to where we currently are.  Whether it’s working out at the gym everyday or really trying hard to understand and be responsive to your spouse or loved one, the past couple of weeks have been filled with hard, difficult work.

2.  A flat top. After all the effort of climbing the steep sides, the flat top of a plateau tends to take you by surprise.  It seems like you’re still putting out the same amount of effort as you were when you were climbing the side, you’re just not getting any higher – in other words, you’re not growing.  This usually leads to:

3.  Redoubling your efforts. What’s the first thing most people try when they hit a plateau?  They think they can break through it by trying harder and redoubling their efforts.  Actually, that sometimes works to get you a little further along.  However, more often than not, you quickly find yourself right back where you started.  This eventually leads to the realization that:

4.  Old formulas just don’t work anymore. Having reached a plateau and redoubled your efforts only to find that you’re still stuck in the same place, you quickly realize that what you’ve been doing just doesn’t work as effectively anymore.  You can only build so much muscle with your existing training routine, for example, before you plateau out and have to change your routine because your old one just isn’t cutting it anymore.

So what’s the answer?  How do you break out of a plateau and start climbing and growing again?  The answer is actually part of characteristic number 4.

Once you’ve hit a plateau, the old formulas just don’t work anymore.  There are a number of reasons for this that I won’t get into here.  Just take it as fact that after a while, your usual routine just isn’t going to cut it anymore.

Therefore, you’ve got to change it.  You’ve got to try a different route.  To get off the plateau and start climbing (and improving) again, you’ve got to try something new in order to  “level up.”

What does it mean to “level up?”  According to Wikipedia, to level up means, “To progress to the next level of player character stats and abilities. Often used in role-playing games when the character has acquired enough experience points.”

If you’re a “gamer,” you already knew this.  In most video games, your character starts out at a starting level with a basic set of skills.  As you progress through the game, your character gains “experience points” for using those skills to accomplish specific tasks.  Once you gain enough experience, you “level up” to the next skill level.  Your skill set usually improves as well in order to tackle the tougher challenges of the new level.

Well, life is set up pretty much the same way, only with YOU as the main character.  The more you use the skill set you’ve got, the more experience you acquire.  However, there is a point beyond which you just can’t progress any further until you acquire more “experience points.”  In other words, you’ve got to learn how to use your skills in a different way, or in a different combination, or in a different order or intensity.

If it’s your workout routine that’s plateaued, change it up by rearranging the order of your exercises or by changing the intensity level.  If a relationship has plateaued, try using a different tone of voice or meet at a different type of setting or location.  Spiritual plateau?  Try meditating or praying at a different time of day than usual or in a different place, or even in a different position (standing instead of sitting or vice-versa).

Jim Rohn, one of my personal development mentors (via hours and hours of audio tapes) loves to say that, “the only way for things to change for you, is if you change.”

So if you feel like you’re putting in a lot of effort but not getting anywhere, if you feel like you’re butting your head against the same wall, if you’ve plateaued, then you need to change your approach.  Time to try something new, gain some new experience, and “Level Up!”

Hiram
Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

Technorati Tags: mountain, personal development, plateau, level up, video games, weight train, health, spiritual, relationship, experience

No related posts.

Working for this type of person can obviously be very stressful but there’s more to it than that.  This stress can eventually manifest itself as physical ailments.

“So great.  Not only does my jerk of a boss make me feel like an idiot, you’re saying that this might be what’s causing my ulcers as well?”

Exactly.  Not only stomach problems, but heart-related problems like high blood pressure as well, not to mention lack of sleep, restlessness, nervousness, paranoia, and lack of libido.  The list goes on and on and includes the harmful ways that people try to copy including alcohol and drug abuse, overeating, and smoking.

“But times are tough and I’m lucky to have a job.  Shouldn’t I just put up with it?”

Well, everyone’s financial needs are different and no one can make that decision for you.  However, you do need to realize that you are in fact putting your health on the line every time you decide to simply “take it.”

Here are a couple of tips you can try to help you deal with a toxic boss:

1.  First, don’t be a doormat. No human being has the right to treat others in a demeaning manner.  If you really believe that statement, then you’ve got to stand up for yourself.  Make sure, however, that you remain calm and professional.  You obviously don’t want to lose your job but you’ve got to make it clear where the boundaries are.  Keep in mind that many toxic bosses are like schoolyard bullies – once you push back, they back off.  But again, try to remain as professional as you can.

2.  Try to keep your boss focused on the problem. If you totally screwed up, own up to it and take your lumps.  However, try to keep the argument focused on your actions, not on you personally.  It might be accurate to call your actions idiotic, but that doesn’t mean it’s OK for your boss to call you an idiot.

3.  Document the behavior. If things eventually get the point where you simply can’t continue to work there any longer, you want a documented record of what happened.  If you’re fired, your records may provide the grounds for a wrongful termination lawsuit.  If  you quit and find out later that your old boss is trying to tear down your reputation, your records can be used to bring a defamation lawsuit.  Now, I have no love whatsoever for lawyers but you do have to protect your reputation as well as  your ability to earn an income.

4.  Go public. Do not suffer alone.  If you’ve tried talking to your boss and the abuse continues, make sure you talk to your Human Resources department.

Yes, I know that many toxic bosses learned their management style by modeling toxic bosses they themselves might have had.  That doesn’t make their behavior any more acceptable in today’s workplace.  That’s no different than saying a child or spouse abuser is justified in their actions because they were abused as well.  You’ve got to break the cycle somewhere.

It begins with you understanding the emotional, and physical, toll that working for a toxic boss requires.  It begins with you knowing where your “line in the sand” is.  And it begins with you standing up for yourself anytime anyone crosses that line.

Here’s a pretty good short video I found that contains some additional tips you should consider.

Hiram
Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer

Technorati Tags: health, toxic boss, workplace, management, manager, working, emotional stress, physical stress, work stress

Related posts:

1. Healthy Environment = Healthy Body

Well, you’re wrong on all three counts.

According to studies in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research (NSCR), your age doesn’t really limit your body’s ability to build muscle in response to resistance training.

Now, it is true that the younger guys will show improvement in a shorter period of time (with seemingly less effort) and will maintain the muscles longer (again, with seemingly less effort – damn!), but the point is that there apparently is no such thing as “too old to exercise.”

It seems that most of the reasons people over 55 stop going to the gym tend to be more mental than physical.  So let’s tackle them head-on:

You Need to Do It

Nothing else improves your quality of life than having a strong, healthy body.  You’ll have the strength to keep up with the grand-kids in addition to having the energy to keep things up around the house.

You know the benefits:  flexibility, lower blood pressure, a stronger heart, more energy, mobility, and so on and so on.  You KNOW the benefits.  You need to do it.

Going to the Gym

Many “seniors” don’t like going to a commercial gym.  First of all, they feel really self conscious since the vast majority of people there seems to be at least 50 years younger.  Couple that with the teenagers at the front desk and the heavy metal rock music constantly blaring from the gym sound system and anybody above 50 is going to feel out of place.  Here’s some ideas to help you deal with that:

• Get over it. Realize that most people that go to a commercial gym are there for the same reason you are – to try to improve their body.  Whether that means losing weight, gaining strength or both, most people are too absorbed with their own feelings of self-consciousness to notice yours so just get over it.  Your mission at a gym is not to impress anybody.  Your mission is to go there, get a good workout, shower and get on with your life.  So do it.
• It’s actually not that bad. Once you get to the gym, you might even notice that there are other seniors there as well.  In fact, the number of gym memberships to people over 55 increased 314% from 1990 to 2005 according to the International Health and Sportsclub Association – a number that’s expected to keeps increasing.  You’ll find that many gyms have programs specifically designed to attract seniors.  Use them.
• Set up a home gym. Does the idea of going to a commercial gym bring back memories of High School gym class with all the guys on the football team laughing at how skinny your legs were?  Then set up a home gym.  All you need are a couple of basic pieces of equipment to get yourself started.  So get them.

Start and End Slowly

Don’t make the mistake most of us make and try to transform your body overnight.  Just because you could bench-press 250 pounds when you were in college doesn’t mean you can do it now — so don’t even try.  Start slow and make sure you give yourself plenty of time to warm up on the front end, and plenty of time to cool off on the back end.  Consistently is much more important than the weight load.

Also, don’t spend all your time lifting weights or doing resistance training.  Although building muscle and developing strength is important, so is balance, flexibility, and endurance.  So don’t forget to add some stretching and cardio work to your routine as well.

Take Long Walks

As you begin working your muscles, stay active.  Don’t fall for the “I-exercised-for-15-minutes-this-morning-so-now-I-can-sit-and-watch-TV-all-day-to-rest” excuse.  Best way to stay active and slowly cool off after a workout?  Take long walks — especially with your spouse or with a friend.  You’ll be surprised what comes up in conversation as well as quickly time passes.

You Need to Do It (Again)

According to the AARP (if you’re over 55, you know what this organization is – if you’re not, don’t worry about it – yet <grin>), over 90% of seniors want to stay in their homes as they age.  How are you going to do that if you don’t have the strength to open a jar of pickles or climb up a flight of stairs?  You need an exercise program that will build and maintain muscle.

So Get Started Now

As they say, “We’re not getting any younger” so get started now.

By the way, I’ve changed that old saying to “I may not be getting any younger – but I am getting better.”  It’s what I tell myself as I push myself to do one more push-up.

Quick story:  I took my grandson rollerskating last month.  First of all, the young lady at the counter was shocked when I asked for 2 tickets.  She asked me TWICE if I was going to actually get out on the floor and skate!

After my grandson and I had skated for over an hour, we were getting ready to leave.  There was a group of teens near the counter where you turned in your skates.  As I passed by, one of them said I skated pretty good and gave me a “high 5.”  How cool was that?

So get started now.  Yes, I know it’s hard work.  Yes, I know it hurts sometimes.  But being able to embarrass your grand-kids every once in a while is worth the effort!

Hiram
Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

Technorati Tags: exercise, fitness, health, senior, elderly, gym, resistance training, weight lifting, home gym

No related posts.

I saw a cartoon once about people being in the Afterlife somewhere up in the clouds.  There was an escalator going up into a bright light with a sign at the bottom that said “Heaven” and an arrow pointing up.  Next to it, there was another sign pointing to a classroom that said, “Seminar on Heaven.”  Needless to say, all of the information junkies were in the seminar.

At the other end of the spectrum, “Action Addicts” only need a barest amount of information before they spring into action.  All they need is a sign that points them in the right direction and they’re halfway down the road.  Action Addicts would have jumped on the escalator to Heaven without even trying to find out what the qualifications were, what to pack, what to expect along the way, and so on.  They figure they can always find out any details they might need along the way.

Learning to Know versus Learning to Do

Many of us approach health and fitness the same way.  Some people (including myself), have an entire library of information on every kind of diet and exercise routine available but yet, never seem to have the time to eat right and exercise.  In contrast, the Action Addicts are too busy to read because they’re at the gym exercising all day.

One approach I’ve learned to help keep me balanced between these two modes has been to ask myself, “What do I plan to do with this information once I get it?”  If the answer is that I just want to “know,” then I jump into Information Junkie mode.  On the other hand, if the answer is that I need the information in order to “do something,” then I shift move towards Action Addict mode.

You see, there’s a big difference between learning something in order to know it, and learning something in order to put it to use (ie: to do something).  In the first cast, I can take my time and savor every detail.  I can picture things, real or imagined,  in my mind and arrange the information any order I want.

Learning to do, on the other hand, requires a different type of learning.  There, the emphasis is on action, on getting started so I would scan the material quickly only looking for Step 1.  I can’t afford the time to read all the details and I definitely can’t afford to get the order out of sequence.  I only need just enough information to get me to the first step, at which time I can go back and figure out how to get to the next step, and so on.

You Need Both

We need to be able to balance both types of learning.  You need to know how to exercise safely, but you also need to actually do it.  You need to know how to make healthy food choices but you also need to do it when you’re at the market, or at the buffet line.  You need to know, but you need to also do.

So before you pick up another book or magazine on health and fitness, ask yourself, “What do I plan to do with this information?”  Be sure to be honest with yourself.  If you’ve picked up a book of exercise routines just to see if someone has invented a new way to do a Bench Press, then go ahead and enjoy reading the entire book including the footnotes, index, and bibliography.  However, don’t try to justify buying the book by telling yourself that you really intend to do any of the exercises because all that will do is set you up for a guilt trip later on.

On the other hand, if you really do intend to get into shape and the book seems like it will help get you there, don’t spend all your time reading the whole thing.  Just get enough information to get started, and then get started.

Asking yourself what you plan to do with the information will save you time as well as make you much more effective.  It will also reduce the stress and number of guilt trips.

Try it for yourself and see…

Hiram
Certified Nutrition Fitness Coach and
Personal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

Technorati Tags: information, health and fitness, guilt, nutrition, balanced health, books, action, doing, reading

Related posts:

1. Free Resource: 2009 Consumer Action Handbook

Now I know that most people believe in an afterlife but that’s not what this post is about.  This post is about extending the time you’ve got on this Earth as long as possible.

How do you live to be 100 or even older?  The answer is actually more simple that you might imagine.  The good part, no the great part, is that much of what prolongs our lives is completely within our control.

I was fascinated by a video I was watching recently on TED.  TED is a nonprofit that organizes lectures and educational series on a variety of topics including technology, entertainment, and design (where the letters T-E-D come from).

One of the videos was titled ” How to live to be 100+” by Dan Buettner. Mr. Buettner is a National Geographic writer and explorer. He’s been working to identify and study the areas of the world containing the longest-lived peoples, documenting the individual components of their lifestyle and culture that contribute to a long and healthy life. He’s the author of  the book, “Blue Zones” and his website is at www.bluezones.com (a great resource, by the way).

The Blue Zone Project

The Blue Zone Project was sponsored by National Geographic to identify areas of the world where people just seemed to live longer and to try to find out why.  What were these people doing, how were they living, and what was their diet like?  The findings, especially when contrasted with how we currently live, are pretty revealing.

Dan started by stating that one scientific study found that only about “10% of how long we live is determined by our genes.  The other 90% is determined by our lifestyle.”

Think about that for a minute.  That means that YOU AND I have 90% control over how long we live – and not just how LONG we live, but also HOW we live. That in itself should blow you away – not to mention filling you with a sense of empowerment.

Buettner also pointed out that when it comes to health-related information, there’s a lot of confusion about what helps us live longer.  He specifically mentioned to myths that we wanted to debunk right off the bat:

Myth 1:  If you try real hard, you can live to be 100.  False. Only about 1 out of 5000 people in America live to be 100 so your odds of making it are slim – at least here in America.  Biologically, we’re just not designed to live to a long age.  However, there are lifestyles we can lead that can prolong what time we do have.

Myth 2:  There are treatments that can slow or reverse aging.  Very false. Our bodies contain about 35 Trillion cells.  Those cells turn themselves over, or completely regenerate, about once every 8 years.  However every time they do, there’s some damage, some DNA or chromosome sequence that just isn’t copied exactly.  It’s like the days of vinyl record albums when you’d buy a new record and then make a cassette tape copy of the album.  You’d loan the cassette to your friend and they’d make a copy of it for themselves.  Then they’d loan their copy to someone else who would make another copy, and so on.  After doing this several times, the copy gets so bad that it’s basically useless.  The same thing is happening in our own bodies as our cells replicate, repair, and regenerate themselves — and it happens exponentially.  This is why a 65 year old is aging at a rate that’s about 125 faster than a 12 year old.

So Why Try?

So if the odds are against us and if there’s no way to stop or reverse aging, then what’s the point of trying?  Well, the best guess that scientists can give us on life expectancy is that our bodies are designed to last about 90 years on average (a little more for women).  But life expectancy in the US is only 78 years.  So therefore, we’re leaving at least 12 good years on the table.  That’s 12 additional years of healthy, disease-free living that all of us could enjoy with just a few basic changes to our lifestyle. And let me emphasize once again that this is something you and I have complete control over.

Buettner then goes on to identify and describe a few “blue zones” in the world, areas where people routinely live to be 100+ and there is only a fraction of the middle-age diseases that are so common in the US.  These areas include the highlands of Sardinia in Italy, parts of Okinawa, Japan, and members of the Seventh Day Adventists in Loma Linda, CA.  Although these groups are completely different from each other in terms of language and culture, their lifestyles share a lot of commonalities.  The study identified 9 things that they believe are the biggest factors in promoting longevity.

The Factors to a Long Life

These lifestyle factors included the following:

Move Naturally

1. They “move naturally.” Although going to a gym and working out is not part of the culture of the people in these “blue zones,” consistent exercise is built in to their lifestyles.  All of them live active lives that includes lots of physical activity.  Want to live to be 100?  You’re not going to do it sitting on the couch watching TV for most of the day.

Have the Right Outlook

2. They know how to downshift. The people in these groups work hard when it’s time to work, but they know how to relax when it’s time to relax.  They don’t allow stress and worry to carry over into their personal and family time.

3. They have a reason to get up in the morning, a purpose for living. One of the more touching parts of the video is a 102 Japanese woman holding her 1 year old great, great, great granddaughter.  Two women separated by 101 years.  Each of these cultures in “blue zones” have a strong sense of future and individual purpose.

Eat Wisely

4. Moderate alcohol consumption, mainly wine, is part of all of these cultures. Similarly, all of these cultures have strong social views towards excessive drinking.

5. Their diet is most plant based. None of these cultures is totally vegan but meat is always a side dish, not a main course.

6. They follow some type of 80% rule – a way to stop eating when their stomach is 80% full. This protects them from all of the diseases associated with overeating.

Connect with Others

7. They place loved ones first. They all take care of their children and the children all take care of their parents.  There are no senior or retirement homes.  The elderly are a functioning part of the family unit.

8. They all tend to belong to a faith-based community. This alone has been shown to be worth an additional 4 to 14 years to the average lifespan.  Having a support group to interact with provides numerous benefits.

9. They belong to the right “tribe.” All of the people in these “blue zones” that were 100+ were either born in to, or they purposely surrounded themselves with, the types of people that support a healthy lifestyle.  It’s a plain and simple fact that if your friends are overweight, the chances are that you’re overweight as well.  All of us tend to adopt the values, beliefs, and habits of those we spend the most time with.

Watch it For Yourself

The video is only about 16 minutes long and I think you’ll come away with a new determination to change a couple of things in your life.  The benefits — an average of an additional 12 years — is well worth the effort!

Certified Fitness Nutrition Coach andPersonal Fitness Trainer (NESTA)

P.S.  Be sure to get my latest Fitness Blueprint called “Little Things That Improve Your Health.”  This ebook is packed with loads of helpful information on how to build a better body and you can get it FREE – no email, no cookies, no catch.  Download and enjoy!

Technorati Tags: health, balanced health, nutrition, fitness, age, elderly, longevity, living longer, seniors, long life, diet, life extension, anti-aging, life expectancy, dan buettner, national geographic, blue zone

Related posts:

1. What Are Your “Rules to Live By?”
2. American Top Foods
3. Big Fat Lies